Venting Session 101

I sometimes wonder why when women work together there is always one or two "Mean Girls" in the group. The kind of women who love to insult others or who are petty and jealous.  Why can't we celebrate our differences and learn to get along?  I have a difficult time with mean girls. They stress me out and make me feel drained of energy and emotions.  Where does this meanness come from? Are they born with it? Is it a learned behavior?  Were their mother's mean and nasty? Is a self esteem issue?  So many questions about WHY! I have tried very hard over the past few years to be patient and to exercise more tolerance. When I find myself coming quick to anger I walk away. I cool down before responding to emails or texts that upset me so that I'm not writing irrationally. This is something that I had to learn the hard way. I wrote someone an email response out of anger one time (a few years ago) and I have regretted answering the way that I did. When I went back and read the original email sent to me, I should have been more understanding of the person's position, to not be so quick to judge.  Instead I said some hurtful things that I can't take back. Since then, I try very hard not to jump to conclusions.  But for some reason the past few days have been very trying for me. In my head I conjure up every thing I would like to say to the mean girls. I imagine spewing the words out like a venom. I want my offenders to know they are wrong, wrong, wrong! Instead, I vent to my friends and I vent to my poor hubby. (Who must think women are strange creatures). I don't get to state my feelings or get the vindication that I am seeking.  In the long run, does it matter?  Will it matter in the end if these girls are never told how mean they are? (They are not really girls, they are really kinda old and crusty, but that is besides the point).  Does it make me a mean girl to picture them flying around on their broomsticks? Do bad thoughts count, even if they are not said aloud?  I have so many questions and so few answers today. Must mostly, are some women predisposed to grow up with the Bitch gene? It seems to come so naturally...